Elevation Requires Separation
Elevation Requires Separation: A Journey of Growth
As a 30-year-old Black woman navigating life in America, I’ve come to realize that growth often comes with the need for separation. The idea that elevation requires leaving behind certain people, environments, or mindsets isn’t always talked about — but it’s real, and it’s necessary.
Outgrowing Comfort Zones
There’s a time when you look around and realize that certain things, no matter how familiar or comfortable, are no longer serving your purpose. Whether it’s friendships that no longer pour into you or environments that limit your potential, outgrowing them is a sign of growth, not betrayal.
But let’s be real — it’s hard. We often feel obligated to hold onto what we know because we don’t want to seem disloyal, or because we fear judgment from others. But staying in spaces that no longer nurture our growth keeps us small. As Black women, we often carry the weight of everyone else’s expectations while putting our needs last, but that’s something we need to unlearn on our path to elevation.
The Guilt of Separation
I’ve felt the guilt that comes with wanting more for myself. As a Black woman, I’ve been conditioned to be the nurturer, the fixer, the one who holds it all together. So when I realized that to elevate, I needed to create space for myself — it felt selfish at first. But here’s the truth: It’s not selfish to prioritize your growth, your peace, and your future. In fact, it’s necessary.
Boundaries: The Key to Protecting Your Growth
Boundaries are something we don’t always talk about enough in our community. We’re taught to show up for everyone, even when we’re depleted. But setting boundaries is one of the most powerful forms of self-love. Boundaries allow us to protect our energy, refocus our priorities, and elevate without distractions.
I had to learn that saying “no” doesn’t make me a bad person, and separating myself from certain situations doesn’t mean I’m abandoning anyone. It means I’m choosing me. And in a world that so often demands everything from us, choosing yourself is revolutionary.
New Levels Require New Circles
As you elevate, you’ll find that the spaces and people who once fit your life don’t always fit your future. That’s okay. It’s not about cutting people off, but about surrounding yourself with those who challenge you to grow and push you to new heights. I’ve learned that as I level up, it’s essential to seek out mentors, friends, and spaces that match where I’m going — not where I’ve been.
Embracing the Journey
Separation isn’t permanent, and it doesn’t mean you have to let go of love, culture, or community. It’s about creating room for your next chapter. It’s about elevating in a way that honors the woman you’re becoming, without guilt for the woman you used to be.
Being a Black woman in America, I know firsthand the importance of community, but I also know the power of choosing yourself. Your growth, peace, and elevation are worthy of your full attention. And yes, it requires separation — but trust me, the journey is worth it.
