Surviving 500 Days | Ashleigh Pandora's Victory
#Surviving500DaysOfLife was never about protesting that I am merely making it in this world. I am not a mute, numb morsal counting days hopelessly awaiting for my demise. Surviving 500 days of life is about breathing air six feet above ground at the mercy of my own decisions.
May 15, 2024 at 12:00 am EST, I, Ashleigh Pandora Montford, made it to 500 days of no attempts in trying to unalive myself... this is where I exhale. I remember the painful moments, when I could not even make it to 2 weeks, let alone 30 days. Here I stand 500 days later, in spite of those trials that attempted to cripple me at the very crux of my existence... but God.
--
Standing next to me are those who fought for my existence when I couldn't seem to stare life in the pupils anymore. Holding my hands are those that show up for me time and time again when circumstances were whooping my ass and I couldn't come up for air and my lungs were contracting as I gasped. Having my chin in the palm of their hands and speaking life into me instead of taking screenshots and sending them to God knows where - I thank you for continuously having my back.
For those who hold me close to them, I hold thee closer to me. I thank you. From day 0 to day 500, I have done more than survive, but I have thrived in learning that life is more than inhaling, exhaling and having moments that take my breath away. Prevailing in the present moment and operating from a place of thriving and not simply survival, I have learned that in order to have peace, one must possess the inner wisdom to seek it and hunt it down with every ounce of urgency within them.
500 days. I have clawed my way through tumultuous times, dark nights, soulless moments, vindictive situations, even seasons of betrayal and turmoil. 500 days. I've shredded false accusations, dispelled lies and myths, loudly proclaimed truths, stood strong in seasons of weariness, and sank my teeth in seeking the truth at all costs.
--
I am not who I was in the beginning, nor am I who I was yesterday. Day 499 has nothing on the woman who pens this today on day 500.
Today I am nakedly Ashleigh. I am truthfully Ashleigh. I am purely Ashleigh.
In my authenticity, I will not back down from the whims of life.... I am finding that I am a wailing woman who is full of Nations. I will birth Nations (theoretically of course).
--
When speaking, I am always asked for some type of advice and today my advice is this - No matter what bully, abuser, toxic relationship, or past trauma is hurting you - you can overcome. As difficult as it may seem, all it takes is a decision. A decision to not hurt anymore, or not to tolerate less than from anyone, or to not allow the past pain of once miserable people to impede in your life. It sounds much simpler than it really is, but it is doable - You are more than capable. How? Make that decision. Make that decision in this moment... I am cheering you on
--
So here it is. Here's to the next 500 days... cheers to life and life more abundantly, may it overflow with expectation. This my loves, this is only the beginning.
